It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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