you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
