i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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