Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize