you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
