third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
