Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
