I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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