you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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