What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
