it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
