she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
