So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize