I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
