Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize