Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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