How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize