This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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