It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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