we have officially lost it.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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