Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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