If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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