I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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