We should be called the Road Head Warriors
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
