I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
