Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
