I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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