i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
