U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
