Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
