so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
