Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I've blown a few things in my day
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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