You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
