so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
