weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
