I puked a lego.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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