i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
