I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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