Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
