i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
