We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
