you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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