Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
