Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
