I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
