plz talk dirty to me
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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