I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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