Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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