just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
