you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
