Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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