Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
