I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
