Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
