We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
