So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
