You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
