Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
