I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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