Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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