I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
