shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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