yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Even my vagina gasped.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
be right there i have to get my cape
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm like, not good at living.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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