Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
