I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize